I read the very interesting article about a Jewish woman that has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how it affects nearly every aspect of her life. As an Orthodox Jew, it must be very difficult to have your prayer disrupted by compulsive thoughts or actions. The significance that the disturbing images played in this woman's mind was so interesting to read about. She truly felt that because she had images of Jesus flash in her mind during prayer, she was no longer Jewish. Another thing that struck me was how self conscious she became around others, even her own husband, about the images she saw while praying. For an Orthodox Jew, prayer is one of the holiest things there is. To them, not being focused in prayer is a terrible crime. For me while praying, I think less about the Hebrew part of the prayer that we are all saying together, but more about my individual prayers. The English meaning of our prayers, and the extra passages we have on the side also play a huge role in the way I pray. For me, its important to let my mind wander for a bit while in prayer because I need to not only be connected with the rest of my culture, but with myself as well, and there is no better time then when praying. I think the passages on the side are also extremely relevant. When we are told to pray silently during the Tifilah service, instead of reading the Hebrew, which I would not understand, I read the English sections that are often about helping others and the importance of community.
While I am not aware of how difficult it must be to pray with an obsessive compulsion, I do know what its like to live many days with certain uncontrollable behaviors that could potentially limit my every day behaviors. I do not have OCD, but I do display similar qualities that people with OCD display. I wash my hands quite frequently, to similar measures as the woman in the article. Similarly, I get very worried about possessions and that everything has a specific place. I know that my forms of controlling the things around me have the ability to impact others, but I hope that on this trip, I will be able to let go of some of those fears. I hope that I will not feel the need to always be so clean, or have everything so organized. I can already tell that living with others that may not be the neatest has bothered me a bit, but I hope that it will help me loosen up and stop being as neat myself. Overall, I think this article gave me a lot of insight on how prayer is meaningful for everyone in very different ways.
http://tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/188464/obsessive-compulsive-orthodox
I was so interested to hear that you find so much meaning in the extra passages on the side. Great blog!
ReplyDeleteI liked your post. I would just disagree with one point. You don't have to change yourself by being less neat! Lord knows, i can use a few more people like me;) From my own experience of being neat and considered somewhat controlling, i can tell you that the thing you can change is how you react to people who don't have similar characteristics; be more accepting of their personality and needs. And continue to pray about it. That doesn't mean you have to change your own traits though. The world needs neat and organized people too:)
ReplyDeleteI liked your post. I would just disagree with one point. You don't have to change yourself by being less neat! Lord knows, i can use a few more people like me;) From my own experience of being neat and considered somewhat controlling, i can tell you that the thing you can change is how you react to people who don't have similar characteristics; be more accepting of their personality and needs. And continue to pray about it. That doesn't mean you have to change your own traits though. The world needs neat and organized people too:)
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